Guys often ask me how married life is going so far and my answer, more often than not, leaves them with a quizzical and somewhat disbelieving look on their face. My answer is simply “shukar alhumdulillah (thanks to god), getting married is one of the best things I’ve ever done…”
Mrs. Pineapple and I have very recently celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Now you must be thinking “ooh so that explains his answer to married life”, my response to that is, yes we may only be married for a year but that puts me in the perfect position to share a few tips that I feel are essential for the first year of marriage. These tips helped me get through my first year of marriage relatively unscathed and I hope they will do you some good as well. Although these are written from a guy’s perspective to other guys, they will work just as well for girls. So here are my top 5 tips for making it through the first year of marriage like a boss.
Now, this may seem like the oldest tip in the book but I’ve included it because it is literally the most important one. Talking is the key to a happy first year of marriage, it saves you from countless misunderstandings, misinterpretations and allows expression of feelings that may not have been completely received by non-verbal communication.
Guys, we are completely clueless when it comes to the complex emotions of a woman so talking it out with your wife will leave her feeling understood and it will leave you feeling a little less lost. On the other hand, listening is an essential part of communication. Your wife is probably going to tell you how you feel without you even asking her, you’ve just got to be sharp enough to listen.
- ADVENTURE TIME
One of the best things about being married is always having someone to experience new things with. I encourage you to take your significant other and go on adventures, it will create a bond between the two of you and not to mention all the stories you will have to reminisce over when you’re old and grey. Adventures don’t have to mean jet-setting to foreign lands, it could be something as simple as going to the farmers market together just so you could do something new together. Step out of your comfort zone and take your partner with you, trust me, it will make all the difference in the world.
- LAUGH OUT LOUD
Always find reasons to laugh together. Laughter always has a way of making even the shittiest of situations feel a lot better. It’s okay to be silly with your partner they’re the last person on earth that’s going to judge you for having a bit of fun. Learn what makes them smile and do it often, every day if you can help it because in time you’ll come to realise that their happiness is worth more than the world and everything in it. If you can laugh together in a less than perfect situation then know that there’ll never be a situation too difficult to deal with together.
You as an individual need to sit back and think about your actions, words, and intentions. You never know what you may have said or done that may have unintentionally hurt your husband or wife. It’s not up to them to bring it to your attention but rather it is your duty to reflect upon yourself and realise your mistakes. It’s never too late to apologise, nor is it unmanly to soften yourself and speak to your better half about some harsh words you had let loose earlier. It doesn’t take much, just a moment to think. It will be the best thing you ever do for your relationship.
- IT’S YOU TWO VS. THE WORLD
You have got to remember that the two of you aren’t just a couple, you are a team. When things go wrong you’ve got to turn to your teammate first no matter what, I really cannot stress that enough. Your partner is the one that’s going to have your back and you should have theirs. It doesn’t matter what life throws at you, if the two of you look to each other for support, you can take it on without a problem. After the two of you have spoken about a situation then you can look to others in your social circles for extra support, don’t make another person’s opinion more important than your partner’s. It all comes back to communication between you two, it genuinely is the key.
These are not hard and fast rules that will guarantee a happy first year of marriage, rather they are my own personal tips that, through trial and error, I have come to realise. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, as humans it is in our nature to make mistakes and that’s okay. We live and learn and as long as we give it everything we’ve got then we can exist with contentment in our hearts.
Till next time…
Be wild, weird and wonderful.